Friday, June 11, 2004

Ever changing world

At times I find myself wondering what lies ahead for me. I see no clear answers and the hints shown are a mixed bag. I have been at this weight loss program for some time now. The cost of which is nothing to sneeze at. And for this I am accruing quite a debt. I have been spared the inevitable result of debt thus far. I have avoided losses to my name and credit. But this situation can not last. No ones loyalty to me is so great as to last indefinitely. And to my creditors I have no means, at this point to deliver.

Opportunity has shown itself, north of here about 150 miles. It will me relocating and that alone could absorb the mass of my collected wealth. There is also the reasonable question of qualification. I have great confidence in my skill and my ability to acquire new skills, but the fact remains that this opportunity may not be well suited for me.

Thus far I am down 116.5 lbs. Everyone wants to know what its like and if I feel different. I do, but expressing it properly has been hard. The change has been rapid in relative terms but specific changes are better seen as snapshots of a particular aspect. Like sleep. Before the program sleep was problematic. Now I sleep soundly. Before getting dressed was hard, particularly in my ability to access my feet and legs, and now things are so much easier.

I am considering what sports I am able to play. I am interested in doing some of my old favorites but I don't think I' quite up to it yet. I would like to swim or go play in the local surf, but I still have a considerable lymphatic swelling issue to contend with. I can say that things have been improving in that area but the problem is by no means resolved, and may never go away, no matter how much weight I loose.

So for now, I stay the course. I brave the challenges of re-learning how to eat, exercise, clean up and stay clean myself. I must trust in God to lead me, to light my path, and remind myself never to let opportunity pass without taking an honest crack at making something happen.

I must conquer my fear of failure, my fear of fear, my fear of scrutiny and have confidence in my strengths, and in the unshakeable clarity of Gods plan. I can not change the world, so I must change the man I am to be for what lies ahead is so uncertain.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Expanding the tech-vernacular

As if things were not hard enough figure out, remember, and then late explain to someone else, the solutions for the current challenges seem to be like removing the knife by pushing it all the way through. Consider the mega in megabyte really meaning 1024kb instead of 1000kb. I found an interesting website that has information on one proposed solution to the confusion, but I really don't think this sort of thing will ever catch except among the biggest of computer nerds.