Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Are you a BAD American?

First off, let me say that the U.S.A. uses the word American with such arrogance it's laughable. Do you realize that the people living in Brazil and Cuba and Canada, even Paraguay are all "Americans"... Don't try to argue the point, and you can take "popular usage" and jam it! Popular usage or rather common slang of the United States doesn't rename continents.

The following is credited to George Carlin, but so much garbage is credited to him that he had nothing to do with, that I wanted to say I'm not sure if he had anything to do with this. To put this here I had to change the formatting a bit from the place I got it. The only problem is I'm not sure where it came from. Some of it does sound like his style, but some of it is questionable. Someone might have added their own spice to the recipe, ya know?
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN by George Carlin


I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
  • I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary be they Democratic, Republican or non partisan!
  • I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
  • I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a Smart American.
  • I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
  • I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you should be able to do it in English.
  • I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July...everywhere.
  • I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment, than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy butt through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
  • I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
  • My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever cancels Jerry Springer and MTV.
  • I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
  • I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
  • I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my butt off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying for heat?
  • I've never owned a slave, nor was a slave. I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks...and neither have you! So, shut-the-____-up already.
  • I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices. I want to know where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem but not the solution.
  • Can I get an AMEN on that one?
  • I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running from them. I think anyone who enters your home uninvited in the middle of the night gives up any rights they may have had.
  • I also think the cops have the right to pull your butt over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
  • I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
  • I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be arrested.
  • I believe that, it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two caring parents...one male, one female.
  • I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even if you are living in The White House.
  • And I question what the heck is going on with gas prices...again?
  • If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
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